Monday, March 09, 2009

I'm Driving Nintendo

I promised my brother a photograph of my new car (he likes cars) but I haven't made good on my word yet. I will.

For now, I just want to say, I'm enjoying the vehicle, but it's the weirdest thing having an on button. Actually, it's labeled Power but you get the point. I suppose a hybrid engine should fascinate me more, but really, it's that button that does the trick (perhaps I'm easier to please than I had previously believed of myself). On. And off you go. No work! No turning of key!

However, all this utopian laziness isn't without its cost. The hybrid engine can be silent but deadly (I've nearly been run over by these cars because I can't hear their carbon stomping). So a safety feature with these cars is beeping, inside, so the driver knows he or she is reversing. It's not to warn people outside the car. It's to remind you: Hey, leadfoot, you're driving!

A fellow hybrid owner managed to turn off this beeping and when I asked him how he did it, he couldn't remember. "It's kind of complicated," he said. Then he looked it up and sent me the link with instructions. Go ahead, visit the link (it'll open another window; your place here is safe).

You'll notice there are no less than ten steps. Really, it's nine steps, with the tenth one being the voila after you turn your car back on.

And the steps to get there? It's like a secret cheat code on a computer game. Up-up-down-down-left-right-button-button BINGO! You get infinite lives to continue playing the game! Who would have been able to figure this out? And why isn't this in the car's manual if it's an option?

I haven't turned off my beep yet. I'm a little paranoid that I'm going to be the guy who forgets his car is still on ("hello OC my old friend, you've come to disorder me again..."). So for now, I'm going to deal with this 21st century equivalent of Chinese water torture as if it were birdsong.

Invite Beauty,

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